But I'm so small

Some people have other beliefs. It’s okay to ask why if you really want to know why, but don’t ask why just so you can use their answer to convince them that their beliefs are wrong. If someone asks you about your beliefs, you can tell them about your beliefs. If you search out people who obviously don’t want to hear about your beliefs and then tell them what to believe, you’re going to be “persecuted for your beliefs” and you’re going to be frustrated and people are probably going to say mean things, but that’s really honestly your own damn fault.

Stop trying to make everyone else be like you and enjoy the variety and individuality we have in the world. It’d be a really beautiful thing if we could all stop fighting about whose way is right.

I was really, really tired (surprise, surprise). I hit snooze twice, then reluctantly forced myself out of bed after deciding I probably can’t afford to skip class. I checked Facebook on my phone while I brushed my teeth and such, and saw about 20 status updates about how terrible the roads are and about how much snow sucks and about Minnesota being a crappy place to live and things like that.

So besides being really tired and not wanting to go to class because it’s my least favorite class, I got to be excited about getting ready really fast so I could leave early enough to get there on time because the roads were gonna suck. Sweet.

I didn’t even look outside because I had seen enough about the snow on Facebook to know it was there, and it was just going to be gloomy anyways right? That dull, grey light coming through my blinds just confirmed my feelings that today was going to be a very “blah” kind of day.

So I wandered to the kitchen to grab a handful of cereal on my way out the door, and shuffled down the stairs and went outside and crunched down the front steps… and then I finally looked up. A fresh blanket of snow on everything? Well, it makes it harder to drive but I guess it’s pretty at least. And then I looked at my neighbor’s yard and saw a fox dart into some bushes and run up the street, and all at once my mood was lifted. Foxes are so cool, and the snow was so pretty, and it wasn’t even that windy, and I could come home and nap after class anyways…

Sometimes I let stupid little things get in the way of being in a good mood, which is very silly of me. The world is a beautiful place. I’m sorry if your drive to work took longer than normal, but at least off the highways there’s sparkling, untouched snow, and hopefully you have a radio or something and maybe got to hear a song you really liked.

Everything you don’t want to do moves a little faster if you do it in a good mood. There will always be plenty of things to be gloomy and sad or mad about, but there will always be plenty of things to be joyful about as well. You just have to remember to look at the fresh snow in the yard instead of the dingy slush on the streets. :)

I love your heart. I really do, I love how you transcribe it through everything you do also. Very few know how to love unconditionally, and it is usually subtle, and not as thoughtful. But you Cati, you love LOUD.

This absolutely made my night. I’m honestly like, tearing up a little. Thank you so much. I think that was the perfect reply to this post, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I love you. <3

and after I listened to the lyrics, I can’t help but think of my no-longer-best-friend every time I hear it. Our friendship ended on a sour note with her rather mad at me. I just sent her a message with the song and just said it reminds me of her and I felt like I should send it. Now I’m really nervous and wondering if I should have sent that. I have no idea how she feels about me currently, and she’s rather easy to upset, so if the song hits her the wrong way (as it very easily could), this could turn sour.

I’m hoping for no reply. I don’t want a negative reply and don’t want her to get mad at me for any weird reason, but I don’t think I want this to start our friendship over again. All of my friends who know her wonder how we were friends in the first place (she had my exboyfriend’s baby while he and I were dating, and her and I made up after he and I broke up). I know if she decides to be okay with me again and like, adds me on Facebook, I’m going to get shit for it because I always let people back in after they’ve hurt me too many times, and others seem to guard my heart more than I do sometimes.

I guess I hardly ever guard my heart, so that’s not saying much. I am guarding it with her, because I don’t want to get really close to her again unless she’s changed, because she’s always been rather back-and-forth about all of her friends, and it’s frustrating. I’m okay with being facebook friends and occasionally chatting and such, but I can’t handle being close to her again. Part of me still loves her to death, but part of me is honestly just afraid of her because she has hurt me so badly in the past - not exactly healthy.

Anybody who knows me knows who I’m talking about - please don’t tell me I’m stupid for sending the message, and please don’t warn me about what could happen because I already know. I just really needed to write down my feelings about the whole situation so I could stop dwelling on it. I just really hope nothing negative comes of this.